My Eight Entries
by DotDotDot15
Summary: Mikan Sakura is heartbroken. Determined to get rid of her old feelings, she pours them out in eight diary entries. All about... you guessed it, Natsume Hyuuga. Rated T for a bit of language. One-shot! R&R! c:


**I was reading some random story and this idea just... came to me.**

**This will be a one-shot between Natsume and Mikan. (Although Natsume will not  
appear in this story.)**

**This is supposed to be a 'touchy' story I guess? I mean, I'm bad at those kind  
of stories so bear with me. ^^**

**Enjoy 'My Eight Entries'!**

* * *

**Summary: Mikan Sakura is heartbroken. Determined to get rid of her old feelings, she pours them out in eight diary entries. All about... you guessed it, Natsume Hyuuga.**

**ENTRY #1.**

_I remember the day that we first met. It involved fate. Magic._

_And Polka dot underwear._

_Yes, do you remember, Natsume Hyuuga? The day you peeped under my skirt and said, "Nice, Polka Dots." I never knew three words would begin the mark of an adventure. An adventure of love, friendship, and hate._

_It was actually backwards. Hate, friendship, and love._

_Yes, you knew it clearly. I despised you from the beginning. Hell, I still despise you. That measly nickname you gave me, it stayed for all the time we knew each other. You called me it every day, probably forgetting my real name along the way. Mikan Sakura._

_You were a jerk, asshole, cold-hearted bastard._

_But thanks for the feelings of hate you gave me. I never felt joy in hating someone so much._

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I stared down at the first entry I'd written. It was messy, quick, and straight-to-the-point. I rushed it like it was for a contest, I don't know why though. I feel like the faster I write down my feelings, the faster I'll forget about them.

Have you ever written something quickly and then forgot it the day afterwards? If you have, then good.

That's exactly how I feel.

I placed the end of my pencil in my mouth, chewing on it for a few seconds as I thought about the next entry. Hesitantly, I placed the tip of the pencil back on the sheet of paper.

And I began to write again.

**ENTRY #2.**

_Lately, I wondered how we had become friends. It was weird, a loud girl like me became friends with a snobby manga-worm like you. I want to laugh at the thought, but all the memories that followed us make me hold it back._

_We had lots of good times apart from our fights._

_Heck, even the fights were funny sometimes. Always one of us left in embarrassment or rage._

_That someone was usually me._

_Thanks for the good times we had in our friendship._

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I stared at the paper. Was that a good way to thank him? I placed the eraser on the word 'thanks' in my last sentence, but then I paused. I really am grateful for the memories he gave me. The bad, good, funny, and stupid.

They were great, even through all the pain he gave me.

I took the eraser away from the paper and continued to write.

**ENTRY #3.**

_Of all the people, why did I begin to like you? Why was it you? The one who didn't give a care in the world for me, the one who insulted me, stared at my underwear, and hurt me?_

_I never knew it was 'love' until I talked to Hotaru. I never understood the feeling till I had a long talk with her._

_Then it hit me... I had a crush on you._

_I don't understand why it was you, I just don't know. I probably never will._

_But thanks for making me feel something I didn't understand. (And probably won't understand.)_

_You learn something new everyday, don't you?_

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I was beginning to hate these diary entries as much as I hated the man I was writing them about.

Congratulations, diary entries, you have earned a new level of hatred from me. One that exceeds the 'I-Hate-Natsume' level.

I clenched my left fist and held the pencil tighter in my right hand, I began to write again. I wasn't half way there yet, so I couldn't back out now.

No. Not now, not ever, I have to do this and clear these feelings.

**ENTRY #4**.

_Vile. That is my one word to described the way you treated me after I confessed to you._

_Absolutely vile._

_You ignored me, teased me for it, hurt me, killed me. You didn't take my feelings for you seriously._

_I soon found out what it's like to cry myself to sleep each night, it's not really fun._

_Maybe you'll figure out soon, won't you?_

_Thanks for the tears you made me spill._

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

These stupid entries are getting even shorter. I don't know why, but I just want to rush through this as quickly as possible.

Feeling my eyes burn with watery tears, I sniffed them back. I can't cry here, I just got half way done. I need to finish this.

I began to write again.

**ENTRY #5.**

_Each time I think about you my heart races, did you know that? Every single time I see you I get butterflies, did you know that as well?_

_Haha, of course you didn't. It's so funny I feel like writing 'lol' on this sheet of paper._

_You never have seen yourself in my eyes, so how come you act like you know everything I feel? You act like you've been in my body everyday and you know just how I see the world._

_You do **not** know that, Natsume, you never will._

_Thank you for the misunderstandings._

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Misunderstandings...

They were everywhere. You can't avoid them, they're like a plague.

I didn't understand misunderstandings in my life. I just thought they were honest mistakes that someone would make.

But I misunderstood them.

Oh wow, what a pun. That should go in the book.

I flipped the page and wrote down the next entry. Only three more to go.

**ENTRY #6.  
**

_You don't understand how depressed I felt when you when out with Luna Koizumi._

_The day you came up and told me "I like Luna." I felt like laughing. I thought you were trying to make me jealous as another joke for the feelings I poured out for you._

_But that serious look never left your eyes._

_You weren't joking._

_How could you like someone like Luna? She didn't deserve you. She'd only bring you down... I told you that! You **never** listen to me!_

_Thanks for the jealousy, jerk._

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I pulled my pencil away from the paper and felt my eyes water up again, this time, I didn't hold back and left a tear trail down my cheek and drop on the paper, right on the word 'jerk', which smeared the led a bit.

"A-almost done..."

I choked out a sob and continued to write, but my writing was a bit messy due to my blurry tears. Pathetic me.

**ENTRY #7.**

_Over the months you and Koizumi dated, I avoided you_, _I didn't want to see your face knowing you were going out with a bitch like that._

_You didn't care if I avoided you, did you?_

_You called me stupid, idiotic and dumb for it._

_Wait, those all mean the same thing. I guess I really am stupid._

_Thanks for the insults._

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I pulled the pencil back, tears falling from my eyes as freely as a bird flying on a Saturday afternoon.

I just had one last entry to do, this was it. It was time to sum it all up and end it.

**ENTRY #8.**

_Usually I'll end this with some sort of short goodbye message. But no, I won't this time. I want you to read_ _these messages again. Feel what I felt. Happiness, joy, friendship, love, pain, sorrow, suffering, jealousy and hate._

_Thanks for it all. It changed me, whether it was a good or bad change, it changed me. Big time._

_I don't know if you've noticed but did you check the first letter of each of these entries? I L-O-V-E Y-O-U._

_I do, Natsume. No matter the pain you put me through. I always have loved you,_

_and I **always**_ _will._

* * *

I placed my entries (in order) inside Natsume's locker, smiling slightly to myself as I turned to walk away. Throwing my head back to see Natsume just walking into the school along with Ruka at his side.

I smiled once more, turned my head away as I let more tears fall.

"You had your chance Natsume. Goodbye."

_Goodbye._

**THE END.**

* * *

**-Gasp- How will Natsume react to Mikan's entries? We'll never know because this  
is a one-shot. Sorry. :c**

**I don't know if this came out the way I wanted it to. But nonetheless, I liked it. c:**

**I hope you enjoyed this!**

**~!Peace!~**


End file.
